The Games Men Play

Recently I became aware of two games that men (men, as in grown up males) play. 

• The Software-Firmware Survivor. 
  Players required: Five or more. Length of play: Several months

  Everyone playing this game goes on an eating-binge and puts on as much weight as possible (eating all kinds of tasty food and guzzling major quantities of beer) and their weights/waists are measured. The purpose of the game is to find out who can lose most weight in comparison to what they started. Then for a predetermined period, say, six months, they are measured periodically, hopefully each reducing weight by dieting, and working out.  The bottom-most guy who didn't show improvement is dropped out every month (hence the name Survivor; the word software in the title of the game refers to the fat in the body).

  Women never get this game. "Why do married men need to take all the trouble?" they wonder. Firstly, they don't know that men can be stupid when they are competitive. They also don't know that inside every married man lives an unmarried man, fantasizing (link to review of movie American Beauty), and hoping
  
  

• The Engine Night (a.k.a. LAN Party)
  Players Required: Four or more. Length of play: One night, all night 

  Every player gathers in a predetermined house (whose lady is away) with their PCs. The computers are then networked together on a high bandwidth network and the men play violent multi-player games. For relaxation, they play porn on high-definition televisions or the digital projectors borrowed from offices. Beer and Pizza is the staple food during the game.