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Arranged Marriages of India

Arranged Marriages © K. L. Kamat To answer most oftenly asked questions about the institution of arranged marriages in India, I have written an article briefly mentioning the behind-the-scenes events of a typical arranged marriage. No discussion of arranged marriages is complete without touching upon the humiliation of the bride's father during the process. Best said in a folk poem, "Soirika Phajiti". Notes and references follow the translation. Father of the Bride (The Indian Version) (translated from a folk song) Can't describe the agony Can't describe the hardships of the bride's daddy. Visited every home of fellow caste [1] and distributed the horoscope His shoes are worn out by wandering pillar to post to find a suitable match His bank account is dwindling fast to find a suitable match for his girl Meanwhile ticking away is bride's biological clock worried is the bride's sister [2] and rest of the flock All the powerful Gods are offered a bribe in prayer for a suitable groom for the bride Hurray, there's a match of the horoscope Even though it means settling for less. Accompanied by four men, he went to negotiate. News is that groom's friend doesn't like the girl apparently The groom's father will decide after hearing about the dowry Grapevine has that the groom's mom is keen Groom's sister is sitting on the fence It's time to spend the money for the wedding Grooms family wants lavish spending Chiroti [3] for the friends sarees [4] for thirty relatives It's a time to bear the humiliation of washing the in-law's feet of bearing insults of putting on a courteous mask and pleasing the groom's side of waiting of approval which will never come Raising the girl for eighteen years with all the skills to be a good housewife and a good mother is not enough. Worrying if she will be cared or loved after marriage is not enough. By the time the girl is married, have no words to describe the agony Can't describe the hardships of the bride's daddy. Lord is his only hope. Frustration is his only friend. Source: Ovyo Gavuya, Jyotsna Kamat, 2005 Notes: [1] Arranged marriages are typically arranged within one's own caste [2] In an arranged marriage system, the younger sisters are not married unless the elder sister is married. [3] Chiroti -- A sweet delicacy usually offered in welcoming the guests [4] Sarees -- The Indian drapes; see saree, sarees See Also: Customs, Traditions, & Varieties of Weddings Suragya Sar and Ovyo Gavuya -- A Report Buy Ovyo Gavuya CD at Lulu.com More of my translated works Call of the Cockfight Wager The Caste of the Thieves Ants and the Santali Boy For a Future Post: Advantages of Arranged Marriages Links: • First Person Experiences of a Candidate in an Arranged Marriage by Anita Jain (Comments Disabled for Now. Sorry!) First Written: Monday, May 30, 2005 Last Modified: 8/26/2024 12:27:31 PM

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